kkkaraoke

Victoria’s Secret

Here is an original email sent to the radio media, one of 10,000 pages + and is ‘historic’ because it is the first time that an autobiography ever spilled out to the media.

This was sent to a Jewish DJ, that I listened to in the a.m.  I had written the station many before, and was keen on this autobiographical free-style writing.

From: “queenofkaraoke” <queenofkaraoke@prodigy.net>

To: <records104@wjmk.com>

Subject: Victoria’s Secret

Date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 08:33:16 -0600

MIME-Version: 1.0

Content-Type: multipart/alternative;

boundary=”—-=_NextPart_000_000A_01C2906F.7C88B9A0″

X-Priority: 3

X-MSMail-Priority: Normal

X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000

X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.

——=_NextPart_000_000A_01C2906F.7C88B9A0

Content-Type: text/plain;

charset=”iso-8859-1″

Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

HUSH! Hush! It’s a secret!!!  Although I’ve always liked pretty things, =

it wasn’t until McDonald’s Hamburgers hired me as a Karaoke Hostess that =

I discovered Victoria Secret.  It was a Cynco De Mayo (May 5) =

celebration at McDonald’s on Irving/Elston.  Matter of fact I just =

happened to walk in there for coffee and a man about 68 came up to me =

and asked if he could sit and talk with me.  He was the official “Mc =

Donald’s” greeter and would either bring you a newspaper or refill your =

coffee or keep you company.  He was retired and just wanted a job to =

stay active and he loved it.  So I said sure let’s talk.  So one of =

topics was Karaoke and he immediately jumped up and went to the manager. =

Before you know it I was hired for their festivities in four days. The =

only thing is they wanted me to sing Spanish.  Well, I barely speak =

English, but I said yes of course I sing Spanish, doesn’t everyone!  So =

I got my Karaoke source on the phone and said is there a famous Hispanic =

female singer and they said “Selena” ..  “Selena who??”  OK send it =

overnight mail, I’ll need all the time I can to learn Spanish (only 3 =

days).  Since the words are on the screen and I can print out the lyrics =

I literally from a.m. to p.m. went over two songs over and over again.  =

It was so hard for my mouth.  Other things have been hard on my mouth, =

but trying to speak Spanish words correctly was the ultimately =

challenge.  It worked, reasonably so, on Saturday.  But I was intrigued =

by this music I didn’t even understand, so I called Corpus Christie =

TExas and called one of Selena’s boutique and museum.  I wanted to buy a =

SElena bra-top but they didn’t have many and were very expensive, so =

when I told them I wanted to perform her songs and keep her image alive =

they told me how to make them.  Selena’s father was aghast when he first =

saw Selena perform in one, but the mother who sewed and designed it =

reassured him and calmed his anger and fear.  And guess what was the =

  1. Since I was so ashamed of my breasts =

and spent 6 years super-glued to a rockingchair so one one would see =

even 1 square inch of my bosom, I thought this is going to be quite a =

stretch for me.  And I had no one to support me.  Even my sisters called =

me a tramp when they saw me in cleavage.  But I went to Victoria SEcret =

right across the street on Michican and bought one.  THe first I took to =

a bridal shop and them sew on Hologram Silver Sequins on the cups.  I =

felt like a fish in water. Everyone tells me to be myself; this is =

myself but everyone wants me to be what they think my self should be.  I =

am starting tjo conform though.  In the last two years I’ve spent all my =

time and money on costumes, but yesterday I went to Filene’s Basement =

and bought a conservative white blouse with a tie.  Why do people think =

the ultimate goal of a woman is to wear a business suit and shirt and =

carry a brief case?  Why should she try to look like a man?  Do men try =

to look like women?  If they do we laugh at them.  WHy aren’t we =

laughing at all the women that dress like men?  WHy do people scorn me =

for trying to be feminine?  I don’t know and I give 2 fucks.  Back to =

Victoria Secret.  I’ve already said that women have always dressed this =

way since the beginning of history according to the lecturer at the =

University of Chicago. But our country was founded on Puritanical values =

and of course there is the Nestle’s Corporation which is promoting =

formula to further keep women’s breasts covered.  Also, the gay =

designers do not want women’s breast shown because they don’t have large =

breasts.  Although one male performer when I was on TV “Model’s on =

Parade” did have 24 surgeries, one of which gave him the illusion of =

cleavage.  So after my first Selena Decorated Bra, I went a bought =

another, and decorated it with gold Holograms so they actually glow in =

sparkling colors.  Does this seem too much?  My niece graduated from the =

Art Institute and majored in hologram lights so it doesn’t seem strange =

to me.  Another Victoria secret bra is decorated with real chain mail =

like they wore in the medeval times.  That one is funny, because a =

fellow will come up to me and ask about the chain covering the bra and I =

said this is “real” chain mail.  Often men put $20.00 bills in my =

cleavage just for showing up.  I leave it in there just for effect. =

Also, when I was at Tequila Roadhouse for Karaoke Budweiser filmed me =

for a commercial with a Bud Light positioned in my cleavage and I lean =

back and drink it like that.  (Beer is very good for the hair).  Then =

there is the black one Records saw on Halloween.  Then there is the one =

with coconuts for my “Lilo and Stitch” hula costume.  Then of course =

there are the pearly pink shells that cover the “Mermaid” bra when I =

sing ‘Shoop Shoop’.  Don’t forget to tell “Victoria Secret” to have the =

girls jiggle the boobs tonight.  Having them is one thing, using them is =

another.You know, some women want diamonds and furs.  I have a diamond =

from husband #1 on my right pinkie finger, a diamond on my left from =

husband #2.  I kid and say I have 8 left for my next husbands.  I have a =

beautiful white long fur I use for my Marilyn Monroe costume. A woman =

can have enough furs and diamonds, but she can’t possibly have enough =

lingerie.  I have been known to take my lovers to Victoria Secret and =

pick out the most gorgeous outfit they would like me to wear.  Although, =

sadly I have to say, is that most of the younger guys really just want =

me in an old T Shirt. And I certainly win enough of those in Karaoke =

contests so I can accommodate them if that’s what they want.  My perfect =

date would be to have a date over my house.  I don’t like restaurants =

because it is their food, their paintings and their music. You can’t =

talk freely and it is not romantic.  I would cook a gourmet dinner on my =

finest white/gold china, whatever “he” liked and “his” favorite desert.  =

We would have red wine in crystal glasses and real cloth napkins.  I =

would probably sit on his lap at one point and play “waitress”.  Then I =

would turn on the Karaoke and sing soft, sweet, deep feeling, love =

songs.  Then I would change into one of my many, many Victoria secret =

outfits and do a little dance for him.  This is all before the foreplay. =

Remember this in Romance 101, men need visual stimulation, women need =

to fantasy.  When I saw Marilyn Monroe’s movie and the director for her =

first film made her get on the bare floor, and get naked, to have sex =

with him in order to get the part I though “You gotta be kidding”.  =

Where’s the silk sheets and velvet pillows??? I don’t know why I think =

about these things but I do.  People can’t understand me, but what you =

have to realize is I don’t understand the reality that is around me for =

the most part.  I’ve let you into my reality, which no one has entered =

before and will never enter again.  Don’t forget the Karaoke bar on the =

southside.  Haven’t been there yet.  In the back it is like an =

old-fashioned speakeasy, only instead of booze, it is a room for every =

kind of sex you can imagine.  Again I would have to carry all my =

playcloths and toys with me.  I remember walking by the store with a =

lady boss and she said as we passed “Victoria Secret” store she said =

with disgust “Isn’t it awful how they show this on Michigan AVenue”. it =

is ruining our city.  I would dress like “Erin Brokovich” if I could.  =

When I went to your event to purchase Lion King tickets at the Cadillac =

theatre, the TV camera came up to me right away and asked me my name.  =

And in an unusualy strong voice I exclaimed, “My name is Erin Brokovich =

and I am a crusader against poison in our water supply (and on our =

vegetables).  Then I stuck out each breast several times in the camera =

lens.  He stopped the interview and start laughing.  But then he said ” =

are you here to buy tickets” and I replied ‘No, I will sneak in the =

show, (like used to when I was younger). They don’t know where I’m =

coming from and  I have had so much TV and radio coverage for my needs =

that I don’t seek it anymore and now it is time for me to play with the =

cameras.  I was thinking about the RAdio museum tonight, but if I show =

up I’ll wear my business suit and white blouse with the tie.  I don’t =

want to disturb anyone. I do have two jobs today though, so I really =

don’t know if I will have time after the second job or feel like it.  =

Not only that people don’t know what to do with me once I get there.  I =

went to the Drake Hotel to find a millionaire at a dating service.  The =

radio asked me to sing a few bars so I sang “Believe”.  Then the Reader =

Editor said she never met anyone like me and would like to know every =

detail about me, but I got thrown out of there before we could connect. =

THe Tribune reporter asked me to sing Tina Turner, So I sang “Simply the =

Best”  “I call you when I need you my heart’s on fire.  You cum in me, =

cum in me, you’re wild and wired, you cum in me, give me everything I =

need, You’re simple the best, better than all the rest, better than =

anyone, anyone I’ve ever met.”  The owner politely said I had to leave. =

So there goes my millionaire.  I was so hurt to be asked to leave and =

cried.  So what’s new.  But the next day the Tribune reporter did a =

write up about the “Find a Millionaire Dating Service” and she mentioned =

me and that I find my men at Karaoke Bars and she thought she would go =

to the Karaoke bars to find her next man. She didn’t mention I was =

  1. =20

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: