kkkaraoke

White Husband’s Suicide and Love

Woke up this a.m. to the “Heart” love radio station.
Well, another song I heard was this one by Bon Jovi:  “I’ll Be There For You.”  I’m still honing the short biography for my husband and the Purple Heart Museum.  Of course, that will be banned too.  Except, when I listened to main stream talk radio, and Russell Humphries, they are talking about ‘race’ as never before.  “I was there 3 years ago,” when I talked about my “White” husband’s suicide, ancestry, homelessness, his ”extreme’ goodness towards me.  Now they have caught up, and it is hard to stay ahead of them, when I’ve done it all already.
But, I’m getting more into the ‘loving’ aspects of my husband, trying to remember every single detail, for I have nothing coming from my White sons who are frozen in time and prefer ‘not to think of their White father.’  I guess that eases their pain.  Since he had so many horrible things I could focus on that, as the woman that stole him from me, but I could never do that, other than to bring healing to those problems.
I think that when my husband fought for his disability (for 40 years) from the Veteran’s association, in the back of his mind he knew me better than any one.  And he knew I probably couldn’t make it in Las Vegas, and judging by the 2 years of poverty right before I got his pension, he would have been thinking right.  I know that this is far out, but his very suicide and death provided me with the pension amount that I have now.  Perhaps he thought that his $$$ would be better spent in my hands than in his. Therefore, when I contribute in any way to any White causes, it is coming from Mike Duncan, The White Marine.  When I left Chicago for Vegas, he knew that I would never be back to Chicago and Illinois where he was.  After he wandered off and saw how really bad the rest of the world was compared to our marriage and family, he realized just how wonderful we had it, and how awful the rest was.  I believe in my heart that I saved him from homelessness when I met him, and he also saved me from suicide.  Quite a couple.  Not your average ordinary couple, I would say.  But then they have so much “Jewish fiction” out there, that Whites can’t really feel or appreciate a true White story of love, sacrifice, hope, and actions not words.
Well, I cried during this whole video that I just happened to find this morning.  My dead husband was the ‘only’ man that supported me in any way.  (Although I worked during the marriage just as my Mama worked to support herself, even though she was having and breastfeeding 12 White Polish babies.)  I had other boyfriends, but “I” supported them. IF I made $.60 an hour in high school, I shared 1/2 of that with my White Polish boyfriend, cause he got into a fight at school, was kicked out and sent to juvenile home and didn’t have a job when he came out.  The next boyfriend the same. And even when I married Pat Patton the Roadway Truck Driver who made $55,000.00  a year, he kept all his money for his White daughters, his gambling, and who knows what.  Only, Mike Duncan supported me financially, and only Mike Duncan’s life and suicide still supports me until today.  My jobs as you know are very unreliable, and would have either been fired or quit, so I can’t count on them.  Yes, I only wish I could make you people ‘feel.’  Janis Joplin said it in 1967 when in concert. She said, “The Civil Rights Law has been passed. You White people can now feel, sing, dance.”  I’m sharing the words as my husband’s hearts still bleeds as it says in the lyrics.  I know the other races can’t ‘feel’ for me, and if you can’t feel for me than ‘feel’ for him.  But “Feel” the words.  Don’t ‘think’ them, ‘feel’ them.
I’ll Be There For You lyrics
I guess this time you’re really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicideYou say you’re cried a thousand rivers
And now you’re swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won’t save me anymore

Now I’m praying to God
You’ll give me one more chance, girl

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you

I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

I know you know we’re had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can’t buy back yesterday

And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I’ll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, I’ll be the wine

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you

I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

And I wasn’t there when you were happy
I wasn’t there when you were down
I didn’t mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I’d seen you blow those candles out

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you

I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

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